July 27, 2020 – Compassion is understanding another’s pain and working to alleviate the pain. “If compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Dr. Kristin Neff outlines three tips for becoming compassionate towards yourself.
First, practice self-kindness instead of self-judgment. Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.
Second, self-compassionate people realize that everyone suffers. Being human means, we are vulnerable, imperfect, and mortal, this is our shared experience. Isolating from others when we fail only perpetuates the suffering.
Third, self-compassion involves mindfulness. Neff states, mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.
Practicing self-compassion is like building your muscles. It takes time, intention, and practice.
— Janet Leatherwood, CNO
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